GUYS: how to get into girls' pants

A. learn to kiss - kissing is very important. kiss well and we will automatically think you do other things.. well. If you're not sure if you're a good kisser, just do the following: don't jam your tongue down her esophagus and don't slather your saliva all over her face. Follow that and you should be fine... or somewhat decent. No one should have to feel suffocated while kissing and no one should ever EVER have to wipe their face five times to get rid of the spit you so generously shared. Just the thought of that makes me want to vomit.

B. learn to speak French, or at least learn to speak English with a French accent. Trust me, do that and you will make girls melt. Say stuff like, "what is ________ (word you don't understand)" and when we tell you what it means, say "ah ah ah I see." When you see other French speaking people, make sure you go up to them and converse with them in French. This is guaranteed to make any girl feel the need to change her panties.

C. Don't play up the whole "doing that will make me look gay" act. Frankly, it's a turn off. If you're comfortable with your sexuality, you don't have to prevent yourself from doing something because the public might regard it as "gay". It is perfectly OK to share food with your guy buddies. It is also even MORE ok to cut up chicken and share it with your guy buds. Really. Watching you and your friends eat something together will make any girl want to eat something else.

D. Grow out your curly hair. Yes, grow it out. If you have curly hair, don't cut it. And don't put a gallon of products in it. Natural is always good. There's nothing sexier than a guy with a curly fro. Not only does it look HOT, but it also feels good when we touch it. And trust me, you will appreciate it too when we're running our hands through your hair while we.... anyway, just make sure you keep your hair cleanly washed.

E. Do be somewhat of a "mama's boy". Trust me, it's CUTE. If we're offering you something, say a tic tac, say something cute like, "my mommy told me not to take drugs". Do smile so we know your're joking. Also, if you live far from home, do say stuff like, "yes I do miss my mom sometimes". It is very, very HOT. We love mama's boys. Not the severe ones. But the cute ones who say cute stuff about their mamas. It will make you look very sweet and innoccent. And we always love to get our hands on the innoccent ones.

F. and finally, learn to say good bye. Whether it's at the end of the night, or the next morning. Don't make it awkward. Even if you don't plan to see her again, say good bye in a gentlemanly way. Ask for a number. Or even be lame and ask for an email or screenname. And if you really really don't want to see her again, make the good bye quick. Tell her you had a great time and give her a hug or SOMETHING. Don't just stand there. Even if you do want to see her again, do SOMETHING. Awkward good byes are the worst, and will make us never want to see you again. But if you do say a good good-bye, then trust me, we will be thinking about you for the rest of the day, or WEEK. And most likely, the next time you see us, you will be greatly rewarded for that good good-bye.

Lenalicious